While networking events generally have a business angle to them, they really are no different than a singles mixer. Everyone in attendance is there looking to meet others to make connections and start some type of business relationship. The relationship starts at the event, there is a follow up “date” and if the business relationship progresses past the first meeting, the individuals can tell people that they met at that event. Obviously most networking events are not about finding the most attractive person or how many numbers you are going to get (for most people), but it is still about meeting and interacting with some great people that can help you find what you need for your business.

Like anything else that you do, first impressions will often make or break a meeting or conversation. And when being thrown into a room with 100+ other people to network, whether it be happy hour, speed dating or pitching format, that first thing you say will often determine whether or not the person you met will want to continue the conversation and if there will be a follow up email and meeting.  Some people are just naturally comfortable walking over to others and engaging in conversation. Others like to drift over and drift into an existing conversation and let the current discussion be the icebreaker. But no matter what you try and do, there will always be at least one instance where someone comes over or you are in a situation where it is just you and someone else.

Your icebreaker or “pickup line” at these events will often be the key to your success or failure at an event. Getting someone to want to engage and network is critical. Reading a name tag and saying “So what do you do for Microsoft” is usually not very engaging and seems like you have nothing better to offer than having them just tell you their story and you deciding if it can help you.

I recently posted on Gplus to get some expert feedback on what a quality icebreaker would be and received some great responses (you can see the answers here). What I found is that there are really two different approaches people take, the no nonsense approach and the engaging approach. The no nonsense approach is predicated on the fact that people that are there have limited time and are there for the same purpose, to meet people that can help them. They are more straightforward, tell people this is who they are and what they do and if its not a match immediately, move on to the next person. This will not build relationships but rather serves the purpose of the task and event at hand.  The more engaging approach is you asking the people something about themselves, often to make it easier to find something in common or at least have a conversation that can lead to some type of discussion, even if you can’t help each other. Some of the questions people suggested included, what is your biggest challenge now, what are you looking for so I can help you and tell me a bit about what you and your company do.

While these are both good approaches depending on what you need, I think that the icebreaker needs to be looked at in the context of a conversation. There needs to be a quick icebreaker, a quick 20-30 second pitch, the conversation and how to end the conversation to move on to other people (this is usually more awkward than the icebreaker).

• Quick intro – Have your 10 second pitch ready. This should include your name, company or product you are representing at the event and maybe one tidbit about you or the company that will peak someone’s interest and want to hear more about the company or you. My name is Aron Schoenfeld and I founded Do It In Person, a new startup aiming to make these events more relevant and meaningful for attendees like us. We are looking for feedback from people that attend events to make the platform better.

• Pitch – You should go into an event with two pitches, one about you and one about your company. The other person may ask about either one and you want to have something prepared in your head so that you can talk easily about the subject; be prepared so that when you talk, you sound fluid and loose and not sound like you are reading a script. Your company pitch should have the basic info, enough so that the user can understand it and a quit bit about where your company is such as we just launched or are launching in the summer. Your pitch should give people a quick description of you, your job title and what you do for the company. Both pitches need to give enough to make people want to know more and should also be in the context of the event, perhaps even adding what your purpose at the event is.

• Closing – This is always the most awkward part of the night just like at a singles event where you try and get the persons phone number and ask if you can take them out. The first and often most important part is to know when to end the conversation. Look for the classic signs like the person you are talking to looking at their watch or phone, looking around the room or getting fidgety. When these start to happen, you are losing their interest an it is often better to wrap up and schedule a call or meeting then to continue on. It may not even be because of you, but rather they want to meet a speaker or someone else at the event. A quick wrap up and asking them for a business card is always appropriate, as is asking them what the best way to reach them is – phone or email. Make sure to say how nice it was to meet them and try and remind them of something memorable about you that you can use to remind them who you are. I always like to write down a quick note about them on the card as well to help me remember or use in the email header to get their attention.

Networking is tough and not everyone knows what they are doing. But by attending an event, everyone is putting themselves out there so the least you can do is be prepared. View it as a great way to meet people and the business will come. Once you get it down pat, you will find that things just start happening because you are active in helping others along with yourself.

Note: This is the second of 3 posts on networking. Next week’s post will deal with post event follow-ups with new connections. Our first post was on How to Choose What Networking Event To Attend. 

On any given night in New York City, there are 3 to 4 events that seem to be appropriate for me to attend. I can only imagine that for others, the number is either about the same, or even greater. Over the past few years, sites like Meetup and Eventbrite have made it easier than ever before for people to create events. Regardless of the content, the goal for most attendees is to network and meet others that share their interests. The challenge is, with the cost of the events and the time commitment to attend, how do you pick the right event to attend so that you meet the right people.

Advertising is always deceptive, especially when it comes to events. Organizers claim to have groups of 11,000 members or show a list of attendees, many of which they added themselves. While this gives you a feel for the community or event, it doesn’t tell you what you really need to know: how meaningful and relevant is to you. Just like each event has a specific purpose, you should be going in with a specific purpose and a goal to achieve it. These goals can be as broad as meeting the most people to meeting a specific person. They could be focused on hearing a particular speaker or trying to learn about an industry. Based on these goals, which may vary from event to event, you will be able to get an idea of which events you should attend.

I recently posted on Gplus asking people what they look for when searching for an event to attend. A few people commented that it is based upon who is going to be there and recommendations from friends. While I agree with these wholeheartedly, my question is more about how do you evaluate the attendees or recommendations since no two people have the same goals. Unfortunately, you often have to find out the hard way that an event isn’t for you. But even then, making the best of it can turn it into a productive night.

Three of the things I think are essential to picking an event to attend are:

Price – I am always wary of free events for two reasons. The first is that everyone signs up but not everyone attends so you never know who will actually be there. Secondly, it doesn’t create a filter where someone who shouldn’t be attending says that they aren’t going to pay to go since it’s the wrong events. A small charge to get in, usually offset by food or drinks, goes a long way to ensuring a higher quality audience.

Community – Does this event tie back to a community. I am not referring to partners because every group offers to be a media partner for the free press, but rather does this group have a Meeetup page, LinkedIn group or Facebook page that you can look at and see what kind of people are associated with it and what type of discussions and messages the members are sharing. You will learn very quickly if it is a “can I help you” community or a “buy from me” community.

Organizer – Who is the organizer for the event and what is their motivation. Unfortunately, many organizers are motivated by one of two things, money and selling their product. By emailing the event organizer and asking them for more information about the event, who they are trying to attract and getting a sense of the purpose of the event, you will have a much clearer picture of the event than an invite can give you. A good organizer will also ask you about yourself and who they can introduce you to or how they can help you. That alone will make an event meaningful as you will know which people you need to meet. It also lets you know how well the organizer knows their community. Organizers such as Graham Lawlor of Ultra Light Startups, Gary Whitehill of Entrepreneur Week and #ROOTT and Aaron Price of the NJ Tech Meetup all do a great job at this and this is one of the main reasons their communities are growing so quickly.

Obviously, for each person there will be different things to look at and look for when choosing an event but I think these three really will allow you to filter the list of events down to a smaller number of quality events for you to choose from. At the end of the day, a good networker will make the best of each event and turn it into a successful night. I would love to hear your feedback and ideas on what is important to you when you choose an event. Feel free to comment or post it on Gplus.

Note: This is the first of 3 posts on networking. Next week’s post will deal with how to effectively break the ice and approach people at an event and the last post will talk about post event follow ups with new connections. 

I was recently interviewed by Alexis Miller for the International Business Time Television series on entrepreneurship. See the interview below.